would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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