I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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