When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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