so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
