good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
