Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
