I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
