I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
