I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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