She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
