Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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