We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
