called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
