I am spending my child support on dildos
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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