so explain again why im purple
no
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
