My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
