i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
