Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
