We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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