You can't motorboat a personality
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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