Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
