sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
