she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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