I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
