Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Girls should come with a carfax report
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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