Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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