I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
