hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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