I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
