I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
