we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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