I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
