Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
