you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
