Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
