So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
