C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
