First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
