TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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