She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
