You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
third nipple confirmed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
