Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
