he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
