idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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