Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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