dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How does it feel to date your dad?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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