I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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