Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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