I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
