Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
