If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
