Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
