**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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